Remembering Mom

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I lost my mother Ruth Martha Goldsby-Lawler this past February and although it's been difficult, I have been coping with God's grace. The other day I came home only to find that one of my dresser drawers had completely caved in for the upteenth time. Exhausted with my "ghetto" repairs I decided this time I should make room in my spare bedroom to store linen. But the moment I entered the room I was greeted with clothes and personal articles of Mom. This is where I had stashed her things because it was too painful to sort six months ago. So I thought to myself maybe it's time to clean and sort her items so that I can donate some. As I rifled through her belongings, I suddenly remembered how she looked in that blouse, that dress, those shoes. I held her soft sweaters close to my face hoping to find a breath of her sweet perfume. I cried to God for help to deal with this. I remembered how I held her in her final days and  at that moment my heart ached for her. I remembered her voice as she spoke the words "I love you!" I begged God to tell her spirit that I longed for her because she was my "Beloved". I prayed at that moment to let her know that I would never forget her.

The clothes and belongings didn't get sorted or donated that day...because I am simply not ready. I am not sure what is a "normal" way to deal with this...I suppose others who have lost loved ones may discard of things right away. But I recognize and understand that the task must be done but I am comforted by simply remembering Mom a little longer.

Mom and Dad before I came! :)